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 Post subject: Humane dispatch method
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 18:22 
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THE LAST WORD
THE LAST WORD

Joined: 14 Mar 2008, 20:20
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Location: west virginia
Since there has been much discussion lately about the proper way (ways) to dispatch animals, some of which has been deleted for being deemed too graphic, and since trapping seasons are opening across the country, I feel it is time for me to do an educational post on a completely humane and uncontroversial way to dispatch an animal, certain to be acceptable even to PETA.

First, get a bottle of chloroform and a rag. Approach the animal slowly, speaking to the animal in soft, even tones to reassure it that you mean no harm and intend to dispatch it quickly and mercifully. Soak the rag in the chloroform . Sniff rag to ensure the concentration is such that the animal will expire quickly with no distress.

Rag smells weak. Soak again in chloroform and take another whiff. Now it smells.... strong....enou.....

Wake up 4 hours later, confused and groggy. Sit up. Notice empty chloroform bottle that spilled when you passed out. Notice coon grinning at you.

Wobble unsteadily to truck and retrieve catch pole. Wobble back toward coon. Get catch pole noose tangled around foot. Trip and bang head on rock as noose tightens around ankle.

Wake 8 hours later, confused and groggy, nose down in chloroform rag, head throbbing, foot completely numb from lack of blood flow. Crawl in darkness to truck. Throbbing head confuses trapper into thinking he hears coon laughing at him.

Return after sunrise with bandaged head, partially numb foot, and axe handle. Approach coon, speaking softly through clenched teeth. Raise axe handle high over head and prepare to give coon the "Swamp Rat RAP" between the ears. As axe handle accelerates downward, coon lunges and grabs trapper's left leg. Axe handle hits trapper's right leg. Fall backwards, hitting head on chloroform bottle.

Wake 3 hours later, groggy and confused, gash in head from broken bottle, broken right leg from axe handle, punctured, bleeding left leg from coon bites. Crawl to truck and drive to hospital.

Return next day with 8 stitches in head, cast on right leg, 17 stitches in left leg. See coon grinning at you. Yell at coon, " You must be crossbred with a 'possum you grinnin' idiot!!" Grab crutch and place under arm. Pull .30-06 rifle from behind truck seat. Approach coon, loudly cursing him and his mixed ancestry with every breath. Balance on crutch and aim rifle at coon.

Crutch breaks as trapper pulls trigger. Bullet hits trap jaw, breaking it and freeing coon. Trapper falls, running broken crutch through arm, tearing stitches from head and left leg, twisting left ankle and breaking nose on rifle.

Coon runs off laughing, having felt no pain at all.

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"Take ye heed,watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is".

Rev. 6:8 and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was death , and Hell followed with him.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 18:44 
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POST-JACKING AND PIXEL SIZE CZAR (P.J.A.P.S.C.)
POST-JACKING AND PIXEL SIZE CZAR (P.J.A.P.S.C.)

Joined: 25 Dec 2007, 23:33
Posts: 11285
Location: Alberta, Canada
That is way to descriptive and should be deleted because the new trapper's will be scared off by the use of stitches.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 19:02 
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Professional Trapper
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Joined: 22 Apr 2008, 21:41
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Location: Texas (North)
Wander if Kieth will FINNALLY put one of Docs post in the arcieves, so he'll quit trying. :roll: :wink: :lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 19:35 
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KING OF THE POSTERS
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Poooor Coon!!!! :x Mean old man! :evil:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 19:41 
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POST-JACKING AND PIXEL SIZE CZAR (P.J.A.P.S.C.)
POST-JACKING AND PIXEL SIZE CZAR (P.J.A.P.S.C.)

Joined: 25 Dec 2007, 23:33
Posts: 11285
Location: Alberta, Canada
Boomhawr wrote:
Wander if Kieth will FINNALLY put one of Docs post in the arcieves, so he'll quit trying. :roll: :wink: :lol:


HEAR HEAR.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 19:42 
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THE LAST WORD
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Joined: 14 Mar 2008, 20:20
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Location: west virginia
Lil Bit wrote:
hilarious. As usual.


Me ... or trappintime? :? :?

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Those who trade liberty for security shall have neither.

"Take ye heed,watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is".

Rev. 6:8 and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was death , and Hell followed with him.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 19:43 
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very funny in some ways but might be offensive to those trappers who might have done some of those things :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

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coon-8
grinners-5
beaver-4
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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 19:50 
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PSYCHO SASQUATCH
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Joined: 26 Aug 2008, 18:07
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Wait, so we're supposed to do what to the animals????? :shock:

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Catches 2011 so far:

Lifetime:
Red Squirrel- 4 (in the garage)
Beaver- 1
Coyote- 1
Fisher-3
Raccoon- 3
Red Fox- 1
Skunk-1
My left index and middle finger in a 110
Left hand in a 220


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 20:00 
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Joined: 16 May 2007, 18:42
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great should be posted in the archieves defenitly

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2012
coyotes: 23
Badger: 4
coon 127
beaver: 8
mink: 1


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 20:28 
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THE GRINNER WHISPERER
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:lol: :lol: :lol:
Halarious!!! Yet another one from doc that should be published in FF&G.

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The second amendment is in place in case the others are ignored.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 22:16 
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Professional Trapper
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Joined: 20 Oct 2007, 12:51
Posts: 2674
Location: Conneaut Lake, Pa
Doc i agree with Mohawk

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 22:20 
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THE LAST WORD
THE LAST WORD

Joined: 14 Mar 2008, 20:20
Posts: 11732
Location: west virginia
Hey BigMoo, good to see you back!

_________________
Those who trade liberty for security shall have neither.

"Take ye heed,watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is".

Rev. 6:8 and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was death , and Hell followed with him.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 22:24 
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Professional Trapper
Professional Trapper

Joined: 20 Oct 2007, 12:51
Posts: 2674
Location: Conneaut Lake, Pa
i been around makin sure you guys and gals have been behaving. :lol:
been writin papers and studyin like crazy. 4 test in 2 days. all i have to do is survive this week and next week and i get to go in a 2 day vacation. :twisted:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 22:30 
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THE LAST WORD
THE LAST WORD

Joined: 14 Mar 2008, 20:20
Posts: 11732
Location: west virginia
BigMoo3 wrote:
i been around makin sure you guys and gals have been behaving. :lol:
been writin papers and studyin like crazy. 4 test in 2 days. all i have to do is survive this week and next week and i get to go in a 2 day vacation. :twisted:


I been really good BigMoo, but you better keep an eye on trappintime, I think he's feelin' frisky!!

_________________
Those who trade liberty for security shall have neither.

"Take ye heed,watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is".

Rev. 6:8 and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was death , and Hell followed with him.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 22:32 
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Professional Trapper
Professional Trapper

Joined: 20 Oct 2007, 12:51
Posts: 2674
Location: Conneaut Lake, Pa
oh i shall. i aint got no good jokes to add on to the one you just told or id be able to egg you on some more. and the only thing your missin from your joke is the unconcerned wife/girlfriend that dont understand all the fuss

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Regular goose-


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 22:34 
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THE LAST WORD
THE LAST WORD

Joined: 14 Mar 2008, 20:20
Posts: 11732
Location: west virginia
Every good story has a sequel.

_________________
Those who trade liberty for security shall have neither.

"Take ye heed,watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is".

Rev. 6:8 and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was death , and Hell followed with him.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 21 Oct 2008, 22:36 
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Professional Trapper
Professional Trapper

Joined: 20 Oct 2007, 12:51
Posts: 2674
Location: Conneaut Lake, Pa
good point. its kinda like Skoal commin out with a new flavor. its just somethin that everyone has to wait for

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 22 Oct 2008, 11:02 
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KING OF THE POSTERS
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You have to wonder what sort of "creations" are being mulled around in the Doc's head when he is being "serious"? :lol:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 22 Oct 2008, 12:10 
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CANADIAN SASQUATCH
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Swamp Rat wrote:
You have to wonder what sort of "creations" are being mulled around in the Doc's head when he is being "serious"? :lol:


A hamster in a wheel, two boxes of cocoa puffs, a penguin dressed as a chicken laying on a pile of straw, and 14 midgets running around in togas.

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Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Safeguard the helpless, and do no wrong.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. -Matthew 5:9


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 22 Oct 2008, 12:13 
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KING OF THE POSTERS
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Preacher wrote:
Swamp Rat wrote:
You have to wonder what sort of "creations" are being mulled around in the Doc's head when he is being "serious"? :lol:


A hamster in a wheel, two boxes of cocoa puffs, a penguin dressed as a chicken laying on a pile of straw, and 14 midgets running around in togas.


Not to mention the man can consume more Diet Mountain Dew than a whole kindergarten class on a hot day!!!! :roll:

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 22 Oct 2008, 12:34 
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CANADIAN SASQUATCH
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Joined: 30 Nov 2007, 00:30
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Location: Knoxville, TN
Why diet Mountain Dew? Please doc, tell me your aren't one of the people from the movie theatre that orders a GIANT tub of popcorn loaded with butter and then orders a diet coke.

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Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Safeguard the helpless, and do no wrong.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. -Matthew 5:9


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 22 Oct 2008, 16:14 
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THE LAST WORD
THE LAST WORD

Joined: 14 Mar 2008, 20:20
Posts: 11732
Location: west virginia
Preacher wrote:
Why diet Mountain Dew? Please doc, tell me your aren't one of the people from the movie theatre that orders a GIANT tub of popcorn loaded with butter and then orders a diet coke.


I have to do something GOOD to counteract all my bad habits. :wink: :lol: :shock:

_________________
Those who trade liberty for security shall have neither.

"Take ye heed,watch and pray: for ye know not when the time is".

Rev. 6:8 and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was death , and Hell followed with him.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 22 Oct 2008, 17:36 
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Professional Trapper
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Joined: 19 Oct 2008, 16:08
Posts: 1893
Location: Southwest New Hampshire
P.E.T.A. PEOPLE EATING TASTY ANIMALS.

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skin that one pilgrim and i'll get you another.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: 23 Oct 2008, 09:22 
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HATCHET MAN
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Boomhawr wrote:
Wander if Kieth will FINNALLY put one of Docs post in the arcieves, so he'll quit trying. :roll: :wink: :lol:


Heck, I had to create a whole new section just for Doc's adventures. :D

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